Waiting for spring to well... spring!

Isn't it funny how the weather can effect our mood. When it's sunny and bright our mood seems more cheerful, when it's gloomy and gray we just seem more down. Well today it was both sunny and bright and gloomy and gray so my mood seemed to go up and down as if it were on a roller coaster at an amusement park.

These teaser days of 70 degrees and sunshine have me longing for full on spring, bring on the carpi's and flip flops.

I think I'm ready for spring and summer more this year then ever before. If things go as planned ( which they may or may not) we will get pregnant with our third and final baby this fall which means that this summer will be my last for a few years to enjoy no diapers and kids that are mostly self sufficient. The thought of traveling or just finding a baby sitter when you have 2 kids is okay but throwing that new baby in to the mix is really going to shake things up.

I will admit that the older my boys get the harder I have to talk myself into having another baby, yet I'm not ready to say that my child bearing days are over because that seems so final and makes me feel so old. I know that turning 30 is nothing more then another birthday out of what I hope will be several more so really I don't need to make a big deal out of it yet something about turning 30 makes me feel like my youth will be gone forever.

I'm not ready to be middle aged and I'm defiantly not ready for my children to be on the down side to turning 18 and I know I still have a few years before that happens but these last few years have gone by so fast that it's inevitable that the next will as well.

So today I pray that GOD gives me the wisdom and ability to age gracefully and enjoy what I have left of my youth without being immature. To be the best mother and wife that I can be while still enjoying my independence and freedom. I am a mother , I am a wife but that's not all that I am and I want to embrace every part of my life as if it were a piece of pie that when they are all put together makes the pie whole and damn it's good!